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THE TRAILER HAS DROPPED: ‘Thor—The Dark World’

(MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

After months and weeks of waiting, the Thor: The Dark World official trailer has finally debuted. And let me tell you, it definitely did not disappoint. Fulling embracing a Game of Thrones-esque vibe, (thank you Alan Taylor), Thor: TDW looks and feels serious and I honestly can’t help but be excited. However, there is much, much more to this trailer and I would like to break it down by starting with a few interesting things that were seen.

What did we see?

Well, let’s start with lots of ass-kicking. Ass-kicking everywhere! Ass-kicking for everyone!

Granted, such a thing shouldn’t be all that surprising and obviously, in a movie called Thor: TDW, we can especially expect to see him kicking a lot of ass. On the other hand, I really want to put the focus on mama Frigga/Rene Russo and friend-zoned Sif/Jaimie Alexander. During the trailer, both women showcase some particularly awesome fighting skills and steal the scene while doing it. I cannot wait to see them in action in the movie. I mean, I love all things action/Sci-Fi/comic-related just like the next person, but in most of these areas, I think we can all agree that chicks sometimes get haphazardly treated. From the age-old damsel in distress role, to the “I-only-exist-to-love-the-main-character-role”, (Doctor Who, I’m looking at you), women usually aren’t doing much. However, I’m happy to say that such a phenomenon is changing and hopefully we get to see that happening in this movie.

FriggaSif

INFINITE BADASSERY

Damn, girl. I see you, though.

On that note, next on the list is the nefarious Loki. I’m going to be frank: I have no idea what to expect from this dude and I like it that way. Loki—though he’s kind of misunderstood and could probably outdo most of us in the daddy-issues department—is batsh*t crazy. I mean, he attempted to wage a f*cking intergalactic war on the entirety of Earth—starting from Manhattan, NY, of course. So, just for the fact that Thor has to enlist him for something should be enough for our red flags to go up.

Sh*t has obviously gotten real. But man, I cannot wait to see what trickster Loki has up his sleeve.

But on to more important things, what the hell was that big ass thing moving along the water and barreling toward the city/town? Is it a ship? Is it big ass gun? What the hell is it?! I mean, it will most likely be addressed and everything, but I can’t help but be curious.

Now that that’s out of my system, I want to talk about how Asgard looks.

I understand that Thor: TDW is still about three months away, but from the look of the trailer, I say that Asgard is looking way, way better. In Thor, Asgard looked rather cartoonish at best and if you decided to watch it in HD, it looked like the setting and effects were ripped straight from the movie A Wrinkle In Time.

Sorry, but you're effects were laughable, even for the time period.

Sorry, but you’re effects were laughable, even for the time period.

Anyways, to end this segment, I’d also like to point out that Thor/Chris Hemsworth did in fact grace us with his shirtless body.

DAYUM

DAYUM

That is all.

What did we hear?

Let me start off by saying that most of the noteworthy, bone-chilling things heard in the trailer are spoken by none other than Malekith/Christopher Eccleston.

You’re bravery will not ease your pain.”

Do you mean to tell me that even though Thor is out saving people, visiting his woman, and slaying Lord-knows-what, he’s still going to get super f*cked somehow and lose a lot in the process? You mean to tell me that all may not end well and he might not be happily flying into the sunset with his trusty-dusty hammer Mjölnir at his side? Is that what you’re telling me?

If that’s the case, I want to see this movie. Now.

Your family, your world, will be…extinguished!”

Time out.

Am I the only one who was waiting for Eccleston to finish it all off with the word “exterminated”? Seriously? I can’t believe they didn’t go for that.

ts51_00_closeup_of_doctor_who_dalek_exterminate_sci_fi_tv_show_t_shirt

Yes, I obviously watch a little too much Doctor Who.

Moving on, such words have me thinking that more than just a few people will be biting the dust in this movie and if that’s the case, I am again all for it. I like most of what Marvel has done with their cinematic universe. I really do. However, I think a splash of darkness or edginess would be a good thing, lest things become too campy.

The very fabric of reality will be torn apart!”

Man. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this line in a movie, I’d probably be on vacation somewhere.

In Acapulco or some sh*t.

Here’s to hoping they make these words count. Now to move on to the next segment.

What will (hopefully) be addressed?

The Bifrost. Someone—anyone—please address the f*cking Bifrost Bridge. We all remember that thing being obliterated by Thor’s hammer in the Thor. We all remember Loki screaming about it, telling Thor that “He’d never get to see her (Jane) again”. And…we all remember Thor magically showing up The Avengers and lazily chalking it all up to dark magic.

Please. I’m going to need you to do better, Marvel.

Next, let’s not gloss over the love triangle this movie has going for it. The Sif/Thor/Jane love triangle screams conflict and conflict is good. I need Marvel to explore this. However, let’s hope they don’t make this into some Twilight level sh*t.

Don’t do it, Marvel.

DON’T DO IT.

Lastly, I want to bring up a couple of rumors that have been tossed around the last couple of months. There has been talk of either Jane/Sif/Frigga being offed and though I’m not sure how much credence such a rumor has, I definitely don’t think it’s a terrible idea. However, if Sif is the one to go, I will be highly upset.

And then there’s the one-handed Thor rumor. Again, I’m not sure how true this rumor is, but man! I think a one-handed Thor would be slightly awesome, if only for humorous reasons. I mean, imagine using Mjölnir in place of an actually stub. That would most definitely be a sight to behold. Or…he could go The Justice League Animated Series route and make use of a big ass harpoon.

Look at that harpoon. It just screams “BADASS”, doesn't it?

Look at that harpoon. It just screams “BADASS”, doesn’t it?

In closing, here’s to hoping that Thor: TDW is infinitely awesome and gives Marvel’s Phase 2 the push it needs.

____________________________________

Am I missing something? Have something to add? Sound off below!

Thor: The Dark World will be hitting theaters November 8, 2013. Stay tuned for our review!

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One thought on “THE TRAILER HAS DROPPED: ‘Thor—The Dark World’

  1. Pingback: 4 Movies I’m Looking Forward To This Fall | Sublime Zoo

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