Let me just start this off by saying that it’s cool for guys to cry, okay?
And here’s a big “f*ck you” to anyone who thinks otherwise.
Anyways, you may be wondering: Well, golly gee Lex. Why so serious? What has you so angry about this all of a sudden?
There’s a story behind everything, right?
Well, here’s mine:
This past Sunday, I went to a party for a family friend after church. Granted, the rest of the weekend had left me sickly and tired. However, I decided to be courteous and make an appearance. Fast forward a couple of hours and I was sitting at the aforementioned party and greatly regretting it. Not only was it crowded, but it was also obnoxiously loud and boring.
Which I don’t get.
You’d think something being loud would at least make it not all that boring, right?
Anyways, I was sitting with some guys and staring mindlessly at my phone when a couple of kids ran by and knocked a little boy’s food to the ground. As a result, the little boy in question started crying and even got blamed for his spilling his own food. I admit that my attention wasn’t caught initially. I mean, little kids cry all the time. What’s the big deal, right? However, my wrath was provoked when I heard the following words: “Hey dude! Don’t cry. You’re a boy. Boys don’t cry.”
What the actual f*ck?
I naturally looked up from my phone after that and gave the guy the most burning side-eye that I could muster from my being. After that, I proceeded to mercilessly dog him out, checked if the little boy was okay, and then left the party because of my disgust. After that ordeal, I’ve decided to sit down and write why it’s okay for guys to cry. These are the top three reasons that I could come up:
#1. Guys are not emotionless. YOU are not emotionless.
If I had a dime for every time I heard the opposite, I’d cash that sh*t in and leave this planet.
But anyways, before I started writing about this topic, I did some quick research through Google to see what others were saying about it. What I found was head-scratching, if not also annoying. Most of what I saw was either included titles like “Guys/men are emotionless” or “How to be emotionless like a guy”.
Where did this belief come from?
And how do we make it stop!?!?!
In all seriousness, guys aren’t emotionless. Guys aren’t some dispassionate cyborgs reminiscent of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Terminator. They have thoughts. They have feelings. They love just as deeply as anyone else. They can be really confident, but they can also be really insecure. They get mad and they get sad too. Sure, they may deal with in emotion in different ways, but that doesn’t mean they’re not capable of them.
I could go on and on about this particular point, but here’s another one to chew on:
#2. If you don’t cry, you die.
I’m obviously exaggerating.
Well, kinda/sorta exaggerating.
Anyways, I understand that you might be slightly confused or bewildered after reading that; so let me clarify. What I mean by that happens to be along the lines of emotional suppression. Emotion suppression is never good.
If you want to be really serious about it, it’s really bad for most aspects of your health, especially your mental and physical health. Though society—and I’ll get into the f*ckery that is society in my next point—teaches us that emotional suppression is usually a necessary evil and can be a testament to maturity, (what? I can’t…), if it isn’t preceded by something particular traumatic, it isn’t good for anyone—including guys—and it can have the opposite effect you want it to. As in, 9 times out 10, suppressing your emotions will make them even stronger and that can be really bad.
Also, it can have adverse effects on your body, like high blood pressure and quite possibly, lower immunity. (Here’s a link for more about it: http://www.mysahana.org/2011/05/emotion-suppression-effects-on-mental-and-physical-health/)
So, for the love of God, please, go ahead and cry, even if its just for your health.
Now, on to reason number three:
#3. The idea that guys can’t cry is basically sexist.
And when I say basically, I mean it actually is.
To both sexes.
When people say sh*t like that, it implies that not only is it okay for girls/women to cry, but it is also very much expected of them. They’re the weaker sex right? Let them have that. On the flip side, it also implies that not only is it unacceptable for guys/men to cry, but it also means that they are to be made fun of, punked out, dogged out, or punished for it. They’re supposed to be strong, right? They’re supposed to be rocks in the middle of a storm, unflappable to anything that and anyone who stands in their way, right?
Society has painted crying (and really emotion as a whole) as a sign of weakness in men and has spent a huge amount of time practically grooming them to walk around as if they aren’t capable of displaying such emotions. What gets me is that often times, later in life, guys get slammed for adhering to that notion. They’re called out for being “too stoic”, or being “too heartless”, or being “too cold”, or whatever stupid thing that people mention. From then on, that’s when they’re encouraged to “get in touch with their feelings” or “let their guard down” a little.
And make it up the right way.
In closing, to say that a whole group of people aren’t capable of human emotion, are emotionless, or shouldn’t be allowed to cry not only sounds ignorant as hell, but it also does a great disservice to them. It’s disgusting and it’s not fair. And, may I remind everyone that guys happen to be human beings too? Human beings first and foremost? And as freaking human beings, don’t our M.O.s place a huge emphasis on emotion?!
Basically, if you are a guy, feel free to cry whenever the f*ck you want. You have that right. And I’ll even add that you didn’t even need this f*cking list to begin with.
Images from: Wikipedia.org, Anh-usa.org, Zmemusic.com,Tumblr.com
What do you think? Did I miss something? Sound off below!