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WTF VMAs: Miley Cyrus’s War on Humanity

miley_cyrus_touches_herself_mtv_vmas_blurred_lines_performance_191le0f-191le0j

I have to say it.

I need to say it.

What the ultimate f*ck Miley!?!

This is saying a lot because I support damn near everybody when they screw up, (except for Amanda Bynes, she came out of nowhere), like Britney, Lindsay and a plethora of other people. I think my tolerance for people who f*ck up is probably do to the mistakes made in my own life, but this is unacceptable. I watched the performance and it did what The Wolverine (Origins included), Twilight, Batman and Robin, Man of Steel, and later seasons of Glee couldn’t do. It did more than melt my eyeballs in there sockets; it completely annihilated my brain. Actually, it was somewhat like total Armageddon for every cell in my body. The only thing that trumps all of this is the super massive black hole–yep, a Muse song–that was The Last Airbender (and that is another story for another day).

I saw the performance and am I the only person wondering why she was singing the chorus to “Blurred Lines“? I am one of those people who think that she can’t sing, since it sounds like she just talking. Honestly, I am not the biggest fan of her voice, period.  On top of that, Miley performed her song  with her tongue out 97% of the time; so why was she there?

In general, I think I have a lot of questions.

Here is the short list:

  • Why was she anywhere near the VMAs; Why did MTV allow this?
  • Why was Robin Thicke dressed like Beetlejuice?
  • Why did Robin Thicke allow Miley to poke, prod, and grind on him?
  • Why the hell did Miley’s ass look like that?
  • Why didn’t Kanye (or even Taylor Swift) storm the stage to stop this? It would’dve been actually socially acceptable this time. It would’ve made him or her the savior of mankind, due to him or her saving us from the questionable “ass”-(is that what she has?)-shaking of Miley Cyrus.
NO DON'T!!

NO!! DON’T!!

So, ever since her re-emergence and trial run as “New Miley”, she has been off base. Even her style choices have started to decline. Maybe the sheen from the new model of Miley, Miley  2.0, has worn off. Previously, when the smoke cleared and the fog lifted, we were all left saying a collective “WTF” when sh*t started to get real.

Timeline of strangeness:

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I don’t know where in her mind that she started thinking that she could twerk, but she needs to stop. She now has a legion of girls with no asses (of any race) trying to twerk. Twerking by itself is “rachet” –I had no other word to use that could convey that level of rachetness; I’m sorry–but it’s true.

I really want to know what happened recently to make her act this way. Part of me wants me to pull an Oprah and go interview Miley Cyrus. You have to admit, it would be a great interview. Now that i think of it, I would push Miley by the wayside and interview Liam Hemsworth and see what he thinks of the whole thing. I can only hope that she eventually grows out of this phase.

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3 thoughts on “WTF VMAs: Miley Cyrus’s War on Humanity

  1. Pingback: Vogue Editor-In-Chief Cancels Upcoming Cover Featuring Miley Cyrus | Sublime Zoo

  2. Pingback: People Actually Like Us – The Versatile Blogger Award | Sublime Zoo

  3. Pingback: Beyoncé Earns 8 VMA Nominations; Katy Perry Throws Shade at the VMAs | Sublime Zoo

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