Funny / Lex's Corner / Life / Random

5 Most Annoying Types of Friends

Or “friends” is actually more like it.

Anyways, let’s be real. I’m pretty sure that we all have some semi-annoying friends. However, some of us have accidentally acquired that one friend who is beyond annoying and has ascended into some next level sh*t. If that is the case, this is list is for you.

Now, before we begin, if you’re friends with at least 2 or more of these people or you have that one person that actually doubles/triples/quadruples as several of these assholes, you may need to re-evaluate your life and get rid of them.

Like seriously.

Get rid of them.

All of them.

Anyways, let’s start with number one:

1. The Whiner Friend

This friend whines constantly.

All day, everyday.

24/7.

And contrary to what this friend might think about it, it’s not cute and deserves a simultaneous punch/stiletto/boot to the face.

But because I can in no way find a GIF for a super beating like that, here’s a nice one below:

Yup. I just gave you something to whine about. Now what?

Moving on, this friend embodies the word annoying. All he/she knows how to do is complain and complain, and complain some more. You will find that your ears are getting sick of hearing the sound of this whiny ass friend’s voice.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s cool to complain once and awhile, but eventually, most normal people follow up complaints with some type of action. The difference between them and this whiny ass friend is that he/she most likely has no intention of springing into action for anything, even if he/she does have the power to change their so-called ‘problem’.

So, in case that you maybe want to keep them around and just don’t know how to address their whininess, this is what you should tell them to do:

2. The Downer Friend

This is the type of asshole who sucks the living joy out of you AND everything/everyone around you.

Exhibit A.

It could be anything. Seriously anything. Maybe you got finally got that A in that really hard calculus class or you were able to finally ask that hot girl/guy out or you just got promoted or some sh*t. Well, please don’t make it a point to tell your downer friend first (or at all) because I promise you that you will leave their presence feeling sh*tty as f*ck.

That’s great, Lex. I can’t believe I suck so bad. I should be more like you. l hate my life.

See what I mean?

They’ll probably throw you some backhanded compliment about your accomplishment and then proceed to go on and on about how their lives or how the world sucks.

Kind of like this.

Being completely honest, if you’re not careful and you don’t immediately call them out on this sh*t, it can definitely turn toxic. So, do yourself a favor and cut this asshole out of your life.

3. The Overly-Jealous Friend

Also known as the insecure friend/the friend who probably wants you to fail.

Ladies and gentlemen, the jealous friend.

To be honest, I placed this friend next on purpose. I say this because being a downer friend and an overly-jealous can go hand-in-hand and most of the time, (if this is the case) the downer friend and the overly-jealous friend are the same exact person.

Yup.

This friend is definitely something else. What gets me about this friend is that he/she can either be covertly jealous or openly jealous and it would still be absolutely annoying as f*cking either way.

Unlike the downer friend, this friend may exact his/her discontent by secretly or even openly sabotaging your efforts at life. He/she may do this by planting little words of discouragement in your brain or by physically f*cking sh*t up.

Well, be jealous, asshole.

While I’d advise cutting this friend out of your life too, the one pro that comes with keeping them in your life is that you know exactly when you’re doing well as soon as he/she starts acting up.

Life going well = Jealous friend goes HAM.

Life going poorly = Jealous friend is “by your side” (but secretly happy).

4. The Mooch Friend

Let me start this off by saying that unlike most of the other “friends” on this list, this friend truly and honestly has no shame.

We know, asshole.

This friend is the friend that is constantly hitting you up for money, a place to stay, a random car ride to God-knows-where, and etc. Initially, you won’t see all the signs because he/she is “your friend” and you always happy to help.

However, as time goes on, you will find that your wallet is taking a major hit because of this friend and not in a good way. In fact, this friend will almost never have money—especially when you go out—and will always follow it up with some empty promise about paying you back.

Yup.

No shame.

Just like I said.

That is all a mooch friend is.

Anyways, do yourself and your wallet a favor and drop this friend by the wayside.

Sorta like this.

5. The Clingy Friend

Hot damn. This friend makes me want to punch the whole of the Earth in the face.

You bet your ass I am.

The clingy friend will always, always initially come off as a-okay and everything. But give it a few weeks. In fact, give it a few days and you’ll begin to understand how f*cking annoying this friend can get.

“OMG LEX! WE’RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, LEX! WE SHOULD SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER, LEX! ARE YOU LISTENING, LEX? LEXXXXXXX!!!!”
*Blows up phone, inbox, and whatever else*

My reaction to all of that.

Don’t get me wrong. I like a friend who cares for my well-being and everything. It’s a good quality and all. But when that entails relentless texts, emails, calls or constantly harassing me to spend more time with your or complaining that I don’t spend enough time with you, something’s gotta give.

Also, you will know if your friend is clingy as f*ck when they get really offended that you have more than one best friend that is not them.

And being real, that’s another can of worms that you are not ready to deal with.

So, do yourself a solid and tell them to tone it down or take a hike.

I’m with you, Jack.

In closing, because there are infinitely many other annoying ass friends out there, here are some honorable mentions:

-The Health-Freak Friend

-The Overly-Dramatic Friend

-The Overly-Religious Friend

-The Overly-Political Friend

-The Friend-Who-Tries-To-Be-Political-But-Doesn’t-Know-What-The-F*ck-They’re-Talking-About Friend

– The Overly-XTREME Friend

-The Two-Faced Friend (Doubles as the Innocent/Back-stabbing Motherfu*cking friend)

Images from: Favim.com

_________________________

What do you think? Did I miss something? Sound off below!

 

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