Season 9 of Supernatural starts on October 8, and I simply cannot wait. In effort to be awesomely prepared for season 9, there are things that must be done. First, you have to be up-to-date on ALL of the previous episodes.
That’s right seasons 1-8.
But I realized that it didn’t stop there. After watching all eight seasons (I did and my eyes are still burning), there is so much more that I actually learned from Supernatural than I thought. And here’s the short list (P.S. I love the doodles):
1. Be Prepared To Die
Seriously, be prepared at any point in time to die. Whether it is sacrificing yourself for the greater good (i.e. The Winchester brothers) or dying just because Sam happened to like you as a person, you are bound to die. So, when it happens, don’t act all surprised and shocked like you didn’t see it coming. You were warned. The only real thing you can do is pray that you are around for more than one episode and maybe…just maybe…you will be brought back as something cool (or possessed, take your pick).
2. Step Your Hunter Game Up
If this is the life you are going to choose, at least be semi-good at it. Don’t be the hunter that dies in the episode they are introduced in. If you suck at life and you know you suck at life, memorize some pretty aggressive Latin stuffs (to all of those people that were laughed at, because Latin is a dead language and was potentially useless, you now get to laugh in everybody else’s face when they are possessed and you get to down ‘em. Payback is a mother.) If you can’t fight, be the knowledge guy. If you are the brawler than be that…and go find someone that knows more than you or you are going to die early…on your first hunt ever (you don’t even get to make it into an episode, you only get a flashback).
3. Learn To Shoot Everything
Shoot everything that moves…even if you suck and can’t shoot a gun to save your life. I don’t care if it’s your mom entering your room with cookies, shoot her dead in the face. Why? The moment you let your guard down to accept the cookies, BAM, you’re dead. Demon got you. Game over. You’ll need to arm yourself with something; anything will do really. Pick anything with a shooting mechanism, as it is the easiest to learn: a gun, a crossbow, a phaser, a tranquilizer gun, blow dart, or even a Nerf gun.
As long you don’t pick a water gun (as it will only piss off the demons more).
4. Invest In Salt…Lots Of Salt
Salt everything down. Your windows, your doors, your closets (portals to other worlds), and refrigerators (also portals to other worlds) must be salted.
Now that you’ve experienced all the horrors that lurk in the serious darkness – vampires, werewolves, angels, demons, djinns, Satan, Miley Cyrus – during your Supernatural TV binge, absolutely nothing short of the best macaroni and cheese (my secret obsession, along with tea) on the planet earth and your very own private N’SYNC (JT included) concert with backstage passes can make you leave the presence of the salt ring.
…or carry large amounts of it in your pocket for portable use…
5. Learn To Like Road Trips
Most likely due to your strange behavior (the before mentioned things) you have become a social pariah. I honestly think it was because you shot the chick down the street and started shouting some very aggressive Latin-all because she gave you the side-eye. After stating that she was a demon in disguise the community cast you out…like a Leper.
Hence you now live on the road going where ever your crap bucket of a car gives out on you forcing you to walk for miles looking for help. Now, car maintenance and gas isn’t going to pay for itself and this leads you to rob everyone you come across (that may have a demon in them). And of course you rob everything: wallets, credit cards, water, hats, and underwear (everything is salvageable).
And because you are wanted in five different states for credit card fraud you still live on the road, so you might as well learn to like it.
- 9 Things To Do Before Season 9 of Supernatural (3chicgeeks.com)