As a good number of you know, the Grammy Awards premiered last night on CBS. 

To be honest, there were a couple of good, bad, and eh moments that stood out to me that I will be gladly be pointing out. You can also check out the official Grammy Award Winner list at the end:

The Good:

– LL Cool J opened the show with a surprisingly thoughtful opening remarks about the power of music and he really had me until he mentioned Taylor Swift’s questionable songwriting abilities.

– Daft Punk cleaned house yesterday night as the group walked away with 5 Grammy Awards (the likes which included awards like Album of the Year).

Despite their success, the two “robots” didn’t say a single word and people like Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers accept awards on their behalf. The duo was also part of a performance that included Stevie Wonder, Nile Rodgers, and Pharrell Williams that combined songs like “Get Lucky”, “Freak Out”, and etc.

And seeing as the duo RARELY (and I mean rarely, because apparently it was their first live one in like 6 years) gives live performances, it was a sight to behold. Also, Stevie Wonder.

– John Legend performed his smash hit “All of Me” and it sounded as beautiful as it always has. I’m also awarding 10 points to Gryffindor on behalf of the camera guy that dutifully inserted nice shots of Legend’s wife, Christine Teigen, as he sang the song.

– Later during the show, The amazing P!nk sang “Try” while simultaneously performing aerial acrobatics for the song, which just blew me away.

P!nk lifts you guys.

She lifts.

Other than that, she also performed “Just Give Me A Reason” with Nate Ruess (from the band Fun.). Her voice was beyond on point and I enjoyed every minute of it. Honestly, I believe this woman is vastly underrated. But you know, one day, she probably won’t be.

– Carole King and Sara Bareilles performed together (f*ck yeah!) after being introduced by the amazing Cyndi Lauper.

I am pretty sure my ears ascended to heaven by this point.

– Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons performed a medley including the chart-topper “Radioactive” and M.A.A.D City. On top of that, I was also impressed by how they used their smoke machines; so there’s an extra plus.

– Well into the Grammys, Queen Latifah introduced Macklemore and Ryan Lewis ft Mary Lambert as they performed an impassioned rendition of “Same Love”. This eventually morphed into Queen Latifah presiding over thirty marriages as Madonna came out in a white, pimp suit (complete with a badass cane) and sang “Open Your Heart”.

It was beautiful.

It really was.

The Bad:

– So, LL Cool J thought it’d be real funny to shout out all the wonderful people who are currently freezing their asses and extremities off in negative degree weather (also known as The Polar Vortex: Part 2). 

I love LL Cool J and I gotta admit that I chuckled slightly at the shout out, but in all seriousness, on behalf of the East Coasters who are afraid to step outside lest they be robbed of all body heat forever, f*ck you.

– Let it be known:

*CAUTION: TAYLOR SWIFT FANS BEWARE*

I f*cking hate Taylor Swift. The way that she attempts to “toe the line” between country and pop (she is not a f*cking country singer anymore. Please realize this, CMAs) is exceedingly aggravating and I am not sure why she is lauded for her songwriting skills. As far as I am concerned, all her songs sound like they were written by a prepubescent, 13-year-old girl.

She writes about angst.

That’s it.

ANGST.

So when people are like, “Oh, she writes about real life love”, I am inclined to stab someone. With a spoon.

So, one could only imagine my displeasure with the fact that the powers that be behind the cameras last night decided to show her face like a 1001 times…with the same dumbfounded look all 1001 times.

Granted, her performance of her song “All to Well” was good; so I won’t knock her for that. However, the fact that the camera felt the need to cut to her face during Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson performance of “Highwayman”, Kacey Musgraves winning Best Country Album, and Kendrick Lamar and Imagine Dragons performance of “Radioactive” annoyed the living sh*t out of me.

– The rampant overratedness of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis absolutely killed me last night. I will concede their win in The Best New Artist category (I don’t like it, but I’m willing to concede that category).

As for their OTHER three wins, which included Best Rap Performance (for f*cking “Thrift Shop”), Best Rap Song (for f*cking “Thrift Shop”), and Best Rap Album (for the decent, but not amazing The Heist)…

What the actual f*ck.

And by that, I mean I’m not totally surprised when I consider the composition of the Grammy committee (and the politics and popularity contests involved). However, if we’re looking at this based on merit and merit alone, I am NOT happy that Kendrick lost to Macklemore.

Also, Thrift Shop?

REALLY, Grammy Committee?

– Lindsey Buckingham, Grohl, Nine Inch Nails AND Queens of The Stone Age teamed up to close out the show and were promptly (and rudely) interrupted as the Grammy’s event organizers decided to roll in the credits prematurely. This ultimately cut the performance short and caused Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor to politely tell the event organizers off:

Real talk, I admit that I was super confused as the credits started rolling in the middle of their performance. That was exceedingly rude and could have been handled a lot better. I mean, everyone else got to perform accordingly and what not. What made their performance any different?

The Eh:

–Beyoncé’s opening performance of “Drunk In Love”, (you know, Beyoncé ft. Chair?) was definitely interesting.

On a more serious note, she did end up owning her space as always, even before and after Jay Z made an appearance.

Side Note: I’m not going to lie. I was that one asshole who was thinking: “What the f*ck does she mean by surfboard?!” even as she kept saying it a million times. Luckily, Urban Dictionary helped me sort out my ignorance.

–Katy Perry and Juicy J performed “Dark Horse”, which felt somewhat Thriller-esque…minus the witch stripper poles/burning stakes (yeah, that was a thing last night). I’m mostly okay with it though, because it’s still not as bad as Nicki Minaj simulating “The Exorcism of Roman” at the 2012 Grammy Awards.

Seriously.

That sh*t had me throwing holy water at my television screen.

Anyways, the only thing I was iffy about was the fact that Katy Perry’s vocals could have been a lot better. But that’s just me.

– Lorde’s “Royals” won like two awards, which I’m mostly down with. Song of the Year, however? Not so much.

But then again, it was going against songs like “Roar” (I f*cking hate that song), so I’ll excuse it.

Anyways, these are but a wee of my many qualms with the Grammys. Other than that, here is the full list of winners from last night’s Grammy Awards:

1. RECORD OF THE YEAR

“Get Lucky”

Daft Punk Featuring Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers

Thomas Bangalter & Guy-Manuel De Homem-Christo, producers; Peter Franco, Mick Guzauski, Florian Lagatta & Daniel Lerner, engineers/mixers; Antoine “Chab” Chabert & Bob Ludwig, mastering engineers

Track from: Random Access Memories

Label: Columbia Records

2. ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Random Access Memories

Daft Punk

Julian Casablancas, DJ Falcon, Todd Edwards, Chilly Gonzales, Giorgio Moroder, Panda Bear, Nile Rodgers, Paul Williams & Pharrell Williams, featured artists; Thomas Bangalter, Julian Casablancas, Guy-Manuel De Homem-Christo, DJ Falcon & Todd Edwards, producers; Peter Franco, Mick Guzauski, Florian Lagatta, Guillaume Le Braz & Daniel Lerner, engineers/mixers; Antoine “Chab” Chabert & Bob Ludwig, mastering engineers

Label: Columbia Records

3. SONG OF THE YEAR

“Royals”

Joel Little & Ella Yelich O’Connor, songwriters (Lorde)

Track from: Pure Heroine

Label: Universal Music; Publishers: Copyright Control/Sony ATV

4. BEST NEW ARTIST

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

5. BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE

“Royals”

Lorde

Track from: Pure Heroine

Label: Universal Republic

6. BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE

“Get Lucky”

Daft Punk Featuring Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers

Track from: Random Access Memories

Label: Columbia Records

7. BEST POP INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM

Steppin’ Out

Herb Alpert

Label: Shout! Factory

8. BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM

Unorthodox Jukebox

Bruno Mars

Label: Atlantic

9. BEST DANCE RECORDING

“Clarity”

Zedd Featuring Foxes

Zedd, producer; Zedd, mixer

Track from: Clarity

Label: Interscope Records

10. BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA ALBUM

Random Access Memories

Daft Punk

Label: Columbia Records

11. BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM

To Be Loved

Michael Bublé

Label: 143/Reprise

12. BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE

“Radioactive”

Imagine Dragons

Track from: Night Visions

Label: Kidinakorner/ Interscope

13. BEST METAL PERFORMANCE

“God Is Dead?”

Black Sabbath

Track from: 13

Label: Vertigo/Republic

14. BEST ROCK SONG

“Cut Me Some Slack”

Dave Grohl, Paul McCartney, Krist Novoselic & Pat Smear, songwriters (Paul McCartney, Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, Pat Smear)

Track from: Sound City – Real To Reel

Label: RCA Records / Roswell Records; Publishers: MPL Communications, Inc./M.J.-Twelve Music/Murky Slough Music/Kobalt Music/Ruthensmear Music/Bug Music

15. BEST ROCK ALBUM

Celebration Day

Led Zeppelin

Label: Swan Song/Atlantic

 

16. BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM

Modern Vampires Of The City

Vampire Weekend

Label: XL Recordings

17. BEST R&B PERFORMANCE

“Something”

Snarky Puppy With Lalah Hathaway

Track from: Family Dinner Volume One

Label: Ropeadope Records

18. BEST TRADITIONAL R&B PERFORMANCE

“Please Come Home”

Gary Clark Jr.

Track from: Blak And Blu

Label: Warner Bros Records

19. BEST R&B S”ONG

“Pusher Love Girl”

James Fauntleroy, Jerome Harmon, Timothy Mosley & Justin Timberlake, songwriters (Justin Timberlake)

Track from: The 20/20 Experience – The Complete Experience

Label: RCA Records; Publishers: Tennman Tunes/Universal Music- Z – Tunes/Virginia Beach Music/WB Music Corp./Jerome Harmon Publishing/Warner-Chappell Music, Inc./James Fauntleroy Music/Almo Music

 

20. BEST URBAN CONTEMPORARY ALBUM

“Unapologetic”

Rihanna

Label: Def Jam Records

21. BEST R&B ALBUM

Girl On Fire

Alicia Keys

Label: RCA Records

22. BEST RAP PERFORMANCE

“Thrift Shop”

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Wanz

Track from: The Heist

Label: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis LLC

23. BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION

“Holy Grail”

Jay Z Featuring Justin Timberlake

Track from: Magna Carta…Holy Grail

Label: Roc Nation

24. BEST RAP SONG

“Thrift Shop”

Ben Haggerty & Ryan Lewis, songwriters (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis Featuring Wanz)

Track from: The Heist

Label: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis LLC; Publishers: Macklemore Publishing/Ryan Lewis Publishing

25. BEST RAP ALBUM

The Heist

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Label: Macklemore & Ryan Lewis LLC

26. BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE

“Wagon Wheel”

Darius Rucker

Track from: True Believers

Label: Capitol Records Nashville

27. BEST COUNTRY DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE

“From This Valley”

The Civil Wars

Track from: The Civil Wars

Label: Sensibility Recordings / Columbia Records

28. BEST COUNTRY SONG

“Merry Go ‘Round”

Shane McAnally, Kacey Musgraves & Josh Osborne, songwriters (Kacey Musgraves)

Track from: Same Trailer Different Park

Label: Mercury Records

29. BEST COUNTRY ALBUM

Same Trailer Different Park

Kacey Musgraves

Label: Mercury Records

30. BEST NEW AGE ALBUM

Love’s River

Laura Sullivan

Label: Sentient Spirit Records

31. BEST IMPROVISED JAZZ SOLO

“Orbits”

Wayne Shorter, soloist

Track from: Without A Net (The Wayne Shorter Quartet)

Label: Blue Note Records

32. BEST JAZZ VOCAL ALBUM

Liquid Spirit

Gregory Porter

Label: Blue Note Records

33. BEST JAZZ INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM

Money Jungle: Provocative In Blue

Terri Lyne Carrington

Label: Concord Jazz

34. BEST LARGE JAZZ ENSEMBLE ALBUM

Night In Calisia

Randy Brecker, Włodek Pawlik Trio & Kalisz Philharmonic

Label: Summit Records

35. BEST LATIN JAZZ ALBUM

Song For Maura

Paquito D’Rivera And Trio Corrente

Label: Sunnyside Records/Paquito Records

36. BEST GOSPEL/CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC PERFORMANCE

“Break Every Chain” [Live]

Tasha Cobbs

Track from: Grace [Live]

Label: EMI Gospel/ Motown Gospel

37. BEST GOSPEL SONG

“If He Did It Before… Same God” [Live]

Tye Tribbett, songwriter (Tye Tribbett)

Track from: Greater Than [Live]

Label: Motown Gospel; Publisher: Everything Fresh Entertainment LLC

38. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC SONG

“Overcomer”

David Garcia, Ben Glover & Christopher Stevens, songwriters (Mandisa)

Track from: Overcomer

Label: Sparrow Records; Publishers: Ariose Music/9T One Songs/Meaux Mercy/LarryDavid Music/Capitol CMG Publishing/Universal Music – Brentwood Benson Publishing/D Soul Music

39. BEST GOSPEL ALBUM

Greater Than [Live]

Tye Tribbett

Label: Motown Gospel

40. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC ALBUM

Overcomer

Mandisa

Label: Sparrow Records

41. BEST LATIN POP ALBUM

Vida

Draco Rosa

Label: Sony Music Latin

42. BEST LATIN ROCK, URBAN OR ALTERNATIVE ALBUM

Treinta Días

La Santa Cecilia

Label: Universal Music Latino Y Arju Productions, Inc.

43. BEST REGIONAL MEXICAN MUSIC ALBUM (INCLUDING TEJANO)

A Mi Manera

Mariachi Divas De Cindy Shea

Label: East Side Records/Shea Records
44. BEST TROPICAL LATIN ALBUM

Pacific Mambo Orchestra

Pacific Mambo Orchestra

Label: Tumalanmusic / Stefrecords

45. BEST AMERICAN ROOTS SONG

“Love Has Come For You”

Edie Brickell & Steve Martin, songwriters (Steve Martin & Edie Brickell)

Track from: Love Has Come For You

Label: Rounder; Publishers: LA Films Music/Brick Elephant Music

46. BEST AMERICANA ALBUM

Old Yellow Moon

Emmylou Harris & Rodney Crowell

Label: Nonesuch Records

47. BEST BLUEGRASS ALBUM

The Streets Of Baltimore

Del McCoury Band

Label: McCoury Music

48. BEST BLUES ALBUM

Get Up!

Ben Harper With Charlie Musselwhite

Label: Stax

49. BEST FOLK ALBUM

My Favorite Picture Of You

Guy Clark

Label: Dualtone

50. BEST REGIONAL ROOTS MUSIC ALBUM

Dockside Sessions

Terrance Simien & The Zydeco Experience

Label: Musicmatters Records

51. BEST REGGAE ALBUM

Ziggy Marley In Concert

Ziggy Marley

Label: Tuff Gong Worldwide

52. BEST WORLD MUSIC ALBUM (TIE)

Savor Flamenco

Gipsy Kings

Label: Knitting Factory Records

Live: Singing For Peace Around The World

Ladysmith Black Mambazo

Label: Ladysmith Black Mambazo

53. BEST CHILDREN’S ALBUM

Throw A Penny In The Wishing Well

Jennifer Gasoi

Label: Sparkling Productions

54. BEST SPOKEN WORD ALBUM (INCLUDES POETRY, AUDIO BOOKS & STORYTELLING)

America Again: Re-becoming The Greatness We Never Weren’t

Stephen Colbert

Label: Hachette Audio

55. BEST COMEDY ALBUM

Calm Down Gurrl

Kathy Griffin

56. BEST MUSICAL THEATER ALBUM

Kinky Boots

Billy Porter & Stark Sands, principal soloists; Sammy James Jr., Cyndi Lauper, Stephen Oremus & William Wittman, producers; Cyndi Lauper, composer & lyricist (Original Broadway Cast With Stark Sands, Billy Porter & Others)

Label: Masterworks Broadway

57. BEST COMPILATION SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA

Sound City: Real To Reel

Butch Vig, compilation producer

Label: RCA Records/Roswell Records

58. BEST SCORE SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA

Skyfall

Thomas Newman, composer

Label: Sony Classical

59. BEST SONG WRITTEN FOR VISUAL MEDIA

“Skyfall”

Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth, songwriters (Adele)

Track from: Skyfall

Label: Columbia Records/ XL Recordings; Publishers: Universal Music Publishing Ltd./EMI Music Publishing Ltd.

60. BEST INSTRUMENTAL COMPOSITION

“Pensamientos For Solo Alto Saxophone And Chamber Orchestra”

Clare Fischer, composer (The Clare Fischer Orchestra)

Label: Clavo Records

61. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT

“On Green Dolphin Street”

Gordon Goodwin, arranger (Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band)

Label: Telarc International

62. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT ACCOMPANYING VOCALIST(S)

“Swing Low”

Gil Goldstein, arranger (Bobby McFerrin & Esperanza Spalding)

Label: Masterworks

63. BEST RECORDING PACKAGE

Long Night Moon

Sarah Dodds & Shauna Dodds, art directors (Reckless Kelly)

Label: No Big Deal Records

64. BEST BOXED OR SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION PACKAGE

Wings Over America (Deluxe Edition)

Simon Earith & James Musgrave, art directors (Paul McCartney And Wings)

Label: Hear Music

65. BEST ALBUM NOTES

Afro Blue Impressions (Remastered & Expanded)

Neil Tesser, album notes writer (John Coltrane)

Label: Pablo/Concord Music Group

66. BEST HISTORICAL ALBUM (TIE)

Charlie Is My Darling – Ireland 1965

Teri Landi, Andrew Loog Oldham & Steve Rosenthal, compilation producers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer (The Rolling Stones)

Label: ABKCO

The Complete Sussex And Columbia Albums

Leo Sacks, compilation producer; Joseph M. Palmaccio, Tom Ruff & Mark Wilder, mastering engineers (Bill Withers)

Label: Columbia/Legacy Recordings

67. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, NON-CLASSICAL

Random Access Memories

Peter Franco, Mick Guzauski, Florian Lagatta & Daniel Lerner, engineers; Antoine “Chab” Chabert, Bob Ludwig, mastering engineers (Daft Punk)

Label: Columbia Records

68. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, NON-CLASSICAL

Pharrell Williams

• BBC (Jay Z) (T) • Blurred Lines (Robin Thicke Featuring T.I. & Pharrell) (S) • Happy (Pharrell Williams) (T) • I Can’t Describe (The Way I Feel) (Jennifer Hudson Featuring T.I.) (S) • Nuclear (Destiny’s Child) (T) • Oceans (Jay Z Featuring Frank Ocean) (T) • Reach Out Richard (Mayer Hawthorne) (T) • The Stars Are Ours (Mayer Hawthorne) (T)

69. BEST REMIXED RECORDING, NON-CLASSICAL

Summertime Sadness (Cedric Gervais Remix)

Cedric Gervais, remixer (Lana Del Rey)

Label: Interscope/Polydor UK

70. BEST SURROUND SOUND ALBUM

Live Kisses

Al Schmitt, surround mix engineer; Tommy LiPuma, surround producer (Paul McCartney)

Label: Eagle Rock Entertainment

71. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, CLASSICAL

Winter Morning Walks

David Frost, Brian Losch & Tim Martyn, engineers; Tim Martyn, mastering engineer (Dawn Upshaw, Maria Schneider, Australian Chamber Orchestra & St. Paul Chamber Orchestra)

Label: ArtistShare

72. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, CLASSICAL

David Frost

• Andres: Home Stretch (Timo Andres, Andrew Cyr & Metropolis Ensemble) • Angel Heart, A Music Storybook (Matt Haimovitz & Uccello) • Beethoven: Piano Sonatas, Vol. 2 (Jonathan Biss) • Ben-Haim: Chamber Works (ARC Ensemble) • Celebrating The American Spirit (Judith Clurman & Essential Voices USA) • Elgar: Enigma Variations; Vaughan Williams: The Wasps; Greensleeves (Michael Stern & Kansas City Symphony) • Guilty Pleasures (Renée Fleming, Sebastian Lang-Lessing & Philharmonia Orchestra) • Verdi: Otello (Riccardo Muti, Aleksandrs Antonenko, Krassimira Stoyanova, Carlo Guelfi, Chicago Symphony Chorus & Chicago Symphony Orchestra) • Winter Morning Walks (Dawn Upshaw, Maria Schneider, Australian Chamber Orchestra & St. Paul Chamber Orchestra)

73. BEST ORCHESTRAL PERFORMANCE

“Sibelius: Symphonies Nos. 1 & 4”

Osmo Vänskä, conductor (Minnesota Orchestra)

Label: BIS Records

74. BEST OPERA RECORDING

“Adès: The Tempest”

Thomas Adès, conductor; Simon Keenlyside, Isabel Leonard, Audrey Luna & Alan Oke; Jay David Saks, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)

Label: Deutsche Grammophon

75. BEST CHORAL PERFORMANCE

“Pärt: Adam’s Lament”

Tõnu Kaljuste, conductor (Tui Hirv & Rainer Vilu; Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir; Sinfonietta Riga & Tallinn Chamber Orchestra; Latvian Radio Choir & Vox Clamantis)

Label: ECM New Series

76. BEST CHAMBER MUSIC/SMALL ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCE

“Roomful Of Teeth”

Brad Wells & Roomful Of Teeth

Label: New Amsterdam Records

77. BEST CLASSICAL INSTRUMENTAL SOLO

“Corigliano: Conjurer – Concerto For Percussionist & String Orchestra”

Evelyn Glennie; David Alan Miller, conductor (Albany Symphony)

Track from: Corigliano: Conjurer; Vocalise

Label: Naxos

78. BEST CLASSICAL VOCAL SOLO

“Winter Morning Walks”

Dawn Upshaw (Maria Schneider; Jay Anderson, Frank Kimbrough & Scott Robinson; Australian Chamber Orchestra & St. Paul Chamber Orchestra)

Label: ArtistShare

79. BEST CLASSICAL COMPENDIUM

“Hindemith: Violinkonzert; Symphonic Metamorphosis; Konzertmusik”

Christoph Eschenbach, conductor

Label: Ondine

80. BEST CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL COMPOSITION

“Schneider, Maria: Winter Morning Walks”

Maria Schneider, composer (Dawn Upshaw, Jay Anderson, Frank Kimbrough, Scott Robinson & Australian Chamber Orchestra)

Track from: Winter Morning Walks

Label: ArtistShare

81. BEST MUSIC VIDEO

“Suit & Tie”

Justin Timberlake Featuring Jay Z

David Fincher, video director; Timory King, video producer

Label: RCA Records

82. BEST MUSIC FILM

Live Kisses

Paul McCartney

Jonas Åkerlund, video director; Violaine Etienne, Aron Levine & Scott Rodger, video producers

Label: Eagle Rock Entertainment

Source: Grammy.com, The Huffington Post

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