AJ's Corner / Ask A.J. / Parker & Friends

How To: Build Self Confidence

Apparently between most of the posts that have been written on this site lately, it seems that Sublime Zoo has turned into, I don’t know, “Sublime Share” and that we are now celebrating “Spread the Love Month”.


Now, before you guys look at me sideways like “more, really?”, just know that I have ass loads of posts and post ideas saved on various devices and an old, raggedy, elementary school spiral notebook.

These are pretty much ideas that have accumulated over the course of years. For some reason, I have always been the “Go-to” person when personal problems come up and sometimes, I am spoken to like my life is all rainbows. Sometimes people make it sound like ( don’t have problems. Such are the lies that are told about my life. And the next time I hear: “It’s easy because it’s you” or “You’re [insert name here]”… I will punch someone.

Time to put my glasses on and enter “educated lady” mode.

To begin, I am not yet licensed to charge anybody, nor do I have the time to sit here and rant on the internet about all of my struggles. I refuse to referenced as a sob story or disregarded for the opposite, because it shouldn’t matter. Not every conversation has to be an oppression olympics. If you make it that way, you will be politely scooted to the wayside by those who simply don’t have the time for that.

Life, in a sense, is a game of choices, opportunities, and reactions. And a lot of these decisions are based on how we perceive ourselves. It’s no longer a secret I have –I’m refraining to say suffer, because I refuse to let it get that far–a form of anxiety and so it’s a battle sometimes. But, here are some of the ways that I combat that.

 1. Don’t think!

It’s not unusual for our biggest critics to be ourselves. We sometimes forget that the way in which we view ourselves can be more detrimental and hurtful than anything anyone else can say. Instead of wasting time listening to all of the doubts and naysayers, just do it (like Nike!). Jump in head first. What’s the point in wasting time just spectating and never doing? You can start small to help ease you out of your comfort zone. Buy that skirt at the store that is so far from being ‘you’ that it scares you. Change up your look, your wardrobe, or you hairstyle. Be spontaneous.

 2. Know your value!

This one is sort of self-explanatory. Never let anyone get away with devaluing you, even if it is yourself.

3. Find your qualities!

It’s easy to only focus on the negative if you yourself don’t know what you are capable of. Experiment with things, whether those things are certain skills, like cooking or poetry, more physically complicated things, like styling fashion or making artistry. No matter what it is, find it and never let it go. It’s what you are good at and as long as you tell yourself no one can do it better, then no one can take it from you.

4. Be Positive!

I am strong believer in karma and truly getting what you put out. Now, I’m not telling you to go and turn into Spongebob Squarepants, but at least try not to be negative. No one wants to hang around a Negative Nancy and you shouldn’t want to be one. This also applies to the relationships we maintain. If you have nothing else to offer me but put-downs and negativity, then that’s not friendship and I can do without.

And lastly…

5. Be Happy!

I know, I know. It’s both corny and close to impossible. How can something so simple be so damn hard to achieve? The best way to try, however, is to focus on the smaller things–i.e. the individual moments. Though they are the hardest to grasp, they are the easiest to hold on to.

Good Luck!

What are some of your tips? List them below! And don’t forget to follow us on Twitter and like our Facebook page!

image(s): wifflegif.com, imgfave.com, theurbandaily.com, giphy.com 


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