Funny / Lex's Corner / Life / Random

10 More Annoying Things About Being Crippled

Guess who’s back with Part 2?

Always and forever.

So very good.

That’s right. This asshole is one that keeps his/her promises (give or take a couple of days). So, without further delay, here are 10 MORE annoying things about being crippled.

1. You silently curse buildings/institutions that are not cripple friendly.

This is a big one. In fact, this is a HUGE one. Prior to getting injured, I had no idea what disabled/crippled people were up against when it came to simply getting into a building, but boy did I find the f*ck out.

I was NEVER prepared.

First of all F*CK any and ALL buildings that don’t have ramps at the front of the building. Why the f*ck do I have to hobble to the back or side of the building because some assf*ck of an architect (or frankly, whoever is at fault for this oversight) decided that the ramp was not good enough to be at the front of the building? GTFO with your able-bodied privilege.

Secondly, F*CK and all buildings that have no elevator…meaning that I am relegated to climbing at least 3+ flights of stairs.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. WHY MUST I DO THIS. WHY.

Me after the fact.

Seriously.

What sadistic piece of sh*t decided to do this, huh? And where can I find this f*cker so that I can shove my good leg up their ass?

Here’s some evidence.

Either way, I need people to open their eyes to this.

2. When you bump into things with your injured body part

This. Sucks.

Basically, this usually happens when you under or overestimate the amount of space your injured body part will take up in any setting. And when that happens, TRAGEDY strikes.

Ow.

3. When assholes step on/bump into your injured body part.

There is a special place in hell for assholes who bump into (and therefore) re-aggravate your injured body part.

Not gonna lie, someone did this to me on public transit (even though I brought my leg in as far as possible). And when that happened, I issued forth curse words that I didn’t know existed.

Think all of these times a gazillion.

Moral of the story: Don’t step on injured/crippled people. It’s rude and it hurts.

4. You want to kill the sons of b*tches who get on the bus before you have a chance to get off.

This is something that should land you at the bottom of Dante’s Inferno in my book.

Anyways, it is rude and annoying as f*ck, even if we leave out the crippled/disabled part. You are SUPPOSED to let people off the bus before you get on. That is just the natural order of things. Not look at me with this dumb look on your face when it is clear that I was attempting to get off in the first place.

TRUE.

5. Crutches make your arms want to fall off.

Even though I have pretty nice arms and all, nothing—and I mean nothing—could have prepared me for the hell that is crutches.

The million dollar question.

Because one of my legs is betraying me at the moment, I have to rely on crutches…and let me tell you, it is not fun. Though it is one of the only things that grant you any type of mobility, it is also hard on your arms, you don’t move as fast and God help you if you are caught crutch-walking in sweltering heat.

Enjoy that excessive armpit sweat. It’s quite lovely.

Sweat is also very much imminent when crutches are involved.

Also, even with crutches, I have to say this: F*CK HILLS. Again.

6. Using a walker—the next alternative—is usually not any better.

If you thought crutches were bad, walkers are slightly worse.

How I feel/look.

It’s true. For starters, it doesn’t take as much weight off of your injured leg and you move even slower (you didn’t think that was possible? Well, try again, my friend).

And no offense to the elderly, but I think I have a few more decades until I have to use this, so I’d like to put that off for as long as possible.

7. If you drop something, it is gone forever.

This…this hurts. So much.

Since I injured my leg, I haven’t been as agile or as flexible as I am trying not to re-injure the damned thing. That being said, not immediately diving after things I have dropped is part of me not trying to re-injure myself.

Basically, if you drop something, kiss it goodbye. You know, unless there is a friend or a good Samaritan nearby, but that is only if you are lucky.

Think this but so much worse.

And don’t even ask me about how many things I left on the floor merely because I couldn’t reach it. The list is endless.

8. Putting on clothes is such a workout.

I have never hated clothes as much as I hate clothes now.

Can we just do away with pants all together? Thanks.

I am so aggravated by this and because of that my entire wardrobe has had to change (because tight clothing obviously can’t fit over a bum leg).

Being completely honest, I would love to be able to go buck ass naked and not have to worry about pulling some baggy and loose ass pants over my bum leg. But there are laws against that, so eh.

9. Trying to itch your toes/foot is going to be impossible for the next 1347039284032 months.

*shrugs* It’s the natural order of things.

With the type of injury I have, I cannot bend my knee. Because of this, it has been nearly impossible for me to itch my foot or toes at all and THAT is enough to make anyone go crazy. Because truth be told, no one can scratch your itch better than you do.

Plus, asking is just embarrassing sometimes.

I cry evry tym ._.

10. Trying to fit into a car is always an adventure.

Trying to fit my injured as into a car is like trying to shove a square lego onto a round one:

That sh*t just doesn’t work.

…Yeah. It probably won’t happen.

What makes matters worse is that I can’t drive myself currently, as I would need to bend my leg (and that is a “no no”). So, I have been relegated to the back seat (gone are the days of shotgun). Most of the time, it is okay…but then I remember that I have to take up most of the back seat with my bum ass leg and a plethora of pillows so I can prop the SOB up.

SO. MANY. PILLOWS.

Annnnnnnnnd this concludes the two part list of the 20 most annoying things about being crippled. Hope you enjoyed this sh*t, because I know I did. You can check back for updates, as I will be starting physical therapy very soon and that in itself is bound to be an adventure.

Got any stories about being injured/temporarily crippled? Let me know in the comments below!

Images From: Breesreads.wordpress.com, Blogsmartthings.com, Truegif.com, Pandawhale.com, Banter.com, Thedailytouch.com, Wifflegif.com, Awesomelyluvvie.com, The Huffington Post, Theberry.com, Funkydineva.com, Imgur.com, Shaelit.com, Quickmeme.com, Mic.com, Iambrony.com, Gifsoup.com

_____________________________

Advertisements

Sound off!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s