AJ's Corner / Ask A.J. / Parker & Friends / Random

Parker & Friends: On Love And Being Yourself

Hello, Lovelies!

For this post, I want you to be relaxed and oh so chill…because I am. So grab that coffee, tea or what have as we tackle something I have been asked to write on as well has been a topic of my average, everyday life.

I must admit that despite my rather large list of quirks or the fact that I am beyond shy, I apparently am quite good at navigating  EAC or the East Austrailian Current –for those who might have never seen Finding Nemo and are therefore leaving under a rock– of general life. In fact, I was once the type of girl that believed in only true love, one person for everybody, and I was trying to rush it on along when I began to get impatient when my Disney prince didn’t show up.

Okay, more than impatient…

That was freshmen year, and I was a wide-eyed child (in hindsight I was more like a fetus, really) then and only knew what I was told. For lack of a better example, I was Charlotte York–never having drunk the proverbial Pumpkin Spice Latte of adult life. Two years later and sitting through a Sex and the City marathon, I realized that somehow, I had become Carrie Bradshaw. And I hated myself for once being so naive and single-minded. Hell, I even had the occupation, (except she makes it seem so much more glamorous), and of course the whole “romantic life almost always being in constant flux whilst having hilarious misadventures at the same time” thing going for me too.

I’ve learned that there are so many avenues and pathways on the GPS mapping of love that a lot it just gets lost in translation (corny, I know, but it’s necessary).

Let’s start at the beginning. You have to stop the childishness and be adult enough to recognize your feelings and sort them out accordingly. Seems simple, yeah?

Well, in some cases it isn’t.

Truth zone: it’s hard as f*ck and sometimes it’s going to kick your ass.

So, here is another golden nugget of Lord Coreo’s wisdom:

“There are going to be people who are going to like you and people who aren’t. It’s not your job to change yourself for every person you come across. But if everyone around has a problem, check yourself and if you are not the issue, fix yourself keep it moving; don’t waste your time.”

…Or something like that, keep in my mind I was itty bitty A.J. then (like the whole of like twelve), when he explained this to me. Obviously not verbatim, but you get the point.

The takeaway is change yourself for nobody.

If you are not the conductor of the “change your life” train, you shouldn’t be on it. This especially goes for those people in life that take every relationship or love hardship to heart and let’s it turn them into someone entirely different. Never let feelings of any sort create a bitter person. The results are grey hairs, retreating friends/general people, and overall, regret.

My sharing this beyond embarrassing story serves a purpose, you all. I swear, I am getting somewhere.

Back before I realized that Micheal ‘wasn’t that into me’ (strange wording for an eight-year-old to think, but it’s my reflection and I am going to use it), I tried everything under the sun to impress him stopping just short of a pagan sacrifice or voodoo dolls. I had to stop there because at the time I was a young Catholic school girl. But, I stepped out of being a being background character that may  or may not have uttered a single line in passing in an episode and became a boss at double dutch because only the popular girls played double dutch. I even started taking dance classes and folks, I am one POC that lacks that particular Sim trait. Then, it literally went down like that scene in Mean Girls, yeah, that one.

Me sharing this beyond embarrassing story serves a purpose. Everybody has been kicked in the heart at least once. So, don’t be that person that falls into some strange pit of despair every time it happens. Everyone has stories and you can’t assume it has all been rainbows for them. While I could have let this horrible moment–because that’s all it was, a moment–make me a total ass-butt, I didn’t. Granted, I hated the world for a good while, (still do, actually), but I became a bit nicer in the way I handled it. Believe me, that’s a pretty hard lesson for an eight-year-old to process and learn from.

These were just some of life’s hard lessons. Despite my dad’s advice, I learned these things later and it’s okay because I learned. There are no real lessons where there is no pain. Granted, I was a child, but it was enough of a lesson to last for a lifetime.

1. Not everybody is going to like you. And it’s not your responsibility to make them. If they can’t see the forest for the trees –and I am probably using this analogy super wrong but I don’t care– then they aren’t for you.

2. Do not be afraid to say “F*ck off”. Your life isn’t supposed to stop for one person–whether this person rejected you or you let this person back into your life repeatedly or maybe your feelings are unrequited or you keep letting the wrong one in or perhaps your always that friend that ends up being just the friend. (a lot of friggin’ “ors”, I know)

Maybe, just maybe, despite how much we try to avoid it or master it, we can’t help but to cave to love’s sick and twisted pull. The real reason is probably to remind us that in a world where fictional A.I. systems can display more emotion that an actual person and can even evoke more so (yep, Halo reference), we too are capable of genuine feeling.

 

Oh, yeah, before I forget let me mention that I now have a Tumblr! So if you want to support me and the Zoo, like this, like that and follow me here there and everywhere. I feel like a just laid down a little Dr. Seuss for you guys. So like the “Like” button down below!

 

image(s): pinterest.com, tumblr.com, tenpointstogifindor.tumblr.com, singleandthecity.nl

 

 

 

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