Hai peoples! I’m finally back from my hiatus, for reals this time. It has been so long since I have written for you all. Legitimately, it has been two months–and that was a friggin’ help wanted ad. So that doesn’t really count, now does it? I would take the time to regale you with a few of my misadventures, but I don’t feel like doing this here because it would make this particular post forever and a day long.
To mark my return to the Zoo, I have for you some special stuff coming down the pipeline. Here is a hint.
HINT: It was a special block to mark a milestone of another.
And, it begins on March 18th.
Now, that that’s taken care off let’s get on with the DATBO.
Forgive me if six months is too long a span of time for me to be giving ya’ll the news but movies lately have been…that booty lately (but with a few exceptions and to that I say I am just a generally lazy person and one movie that I have not yet seen will not be enough to motivate me into listing one good movie followed by many other that are over-hyped or just plain crap). I wanted to dive in sooner, but I outright refused talking about that one movie that takes place kinda in space but that has no real idea what it’s trying to do, American Sniper (because everybody was talking about it even when they weren’t), or Fifty Shades Of Grey…because my mother wanted me to see it with her.
First off, where do they do that at?
…Besides at my university where it is sort of common place for girls to be talking way too loudly on the bus and proudly proclaiming that she and her mother are–“were” now–going on a double date to see Fifty Shades.
But as for Chappie though…
Is it just me or do you get really excited to see a movie that is not a sequel or a reboot? And on top of that, Dev Patel is in it along with Hugh Jackman, and he is not simultaneously playing Wolverine. Unless that’s some strange plot twist in Chappie and even then I must confess I wouldn’t be wholly surprised. I tend to root for any movie with Dev Patel because back when Slumdog Millionaire came out in 2008 it, for whatever reason, became a mainstay in the education system. To this day, I am not entirely sure what the movie was supposed to teach me, but it was one of the first “educational” films where it wasn’t an excuse to go to sleep in class.
However, he did follow that up with the abomination that was The Last Airbender, but I forgive him because he was Anwar on the first season of Skins. And I f*ck with British television. Let’s not forget to mention that he has not one but two movies that are topping the Box Office right now and one of them is not SpongeBob, (but the Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).
But back to the movie, it made 13.3 million opening weekend, making it number one. On the flip side, it cost $49 million to make. For a movie that is about a robot that is capable of feeling emotion that is not a Disney or Pixar film, will it be able to recoup the funds? With movies like Focus (2015) bringing in only $34.5 million despite being released two weeks ago and Fifty Shades edging out SpongeBob: Sponge Out of Water barely, it’s safe to say that we have entered the “Post Valentine Rut”. What do I mean by that? Well, it is the awkward place in American entertainment where the totals are low and there are no big hitters or blockbusters coming out until spring. Since Superhero movies have become a thing that is spearheaded by Marvel, who usually releases their films in the summer and November, every other production/film/movie seems to fall around their release dates as to reduce the potential competition.
In short, you are probably just like me, with potentially nothing to do until Avengers: Age of Ultron is released and are just waiting it out quietly…
Box Office rankings courtesy of Box Office Mojo.
Chappie $13,300,000 $13,300,000*
Focus (2015) $10,020,000 $34,573,000*
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel $8,600,000 $8,600,000*
Kingsman: The Secret Service $8,300,000 $98,028,000*
The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water $7,000,000 $148,993,000*
Fifty Shades of Grey $5,604,000 $156,448,000*
McFarland, USA $5,318,000 $29,426,000*
The Lazarus Effect $5,100,000 $17,400,000*
The DUFF $4,850,000 $26,116,000*
Unfinished Business $4,800,000 $4,800,000*
*denotes Total gross
Image(s): herocomplex.latimes.com, youtube.com, moviepilot.com, dailymail.co.uk, mazerunner.wikia.com