Well, you’ve finally gone and done it.
You finally showed your ass and exposed yourself as a White Feminist™.
I gotta say. While I usually expect either the worst or absolutely nothing from people, I didn’t expect this from you. Maybe I had my blockers on previously or maybe it’s some of that secondhand Parks and Recreation hope rubbing off on my perception of you.
Whatever the case may be, I never expected you to joke about rape. What’s more, I never expected you to involve a child in said rape joke. I never expected said child involved to be all of THREE years old.
Still, I probably SHOULD have expected this much from you. Despite your “feminist” initiatives and your “Smart Girls” campaign, you are, after all, still the same person who is BFFs with Ms. Tina “I make jokes about Sally Hemings being raped by good ‘ol Thomas Jefferson or I’m going to reduce all of Beyoncé and JLo’s accomplishments to how they look and how they supposedly exemplify some unattainable standard of beauty” Fey.
You are, also, someone who seems super chummy with Lena “I think molesting and outing my sister makes me quirky” Dunham.
They say birds of a feather flock together and while I have always thought Ms. Fey and Ms. Dunham were deplorable assholes, it still never registered in my brain that there was a possibility that I would hear some similar sh*t coming from your direction.
I dared to like you.
I dared to hope.
And I was unprepared.
Tell me, Amy. What makes the idea of a grown ass man peeing on a three-year-old funny?
What makes rape funny?
What makes statutory rape funny?
What’s funny about something that women/womyn live in constant fear of and something that men use as the supreme boogeyman to keep them out of prison?
Nothing is funny about any of those things that I mentioned. Nothing at all. In fact, they’re sh*tty. They are all sh*tty. And you are a sh*tty person if you think that they make great fodder for obtuse ass, lazy ass jokes.
Now, some of your stans have already approached us talmbout, “it’s satire! It’s SATIRE! Lighten the f*ck up guyssssssssss. Chill”.
Said fans have also made a fair point by saying that there were probably other writers and players involved in the making of this horrendous joke.
Let’s say that I go with that. If that is ACTUALLY the case, then here are just a few of my rebuttal points:
1. Doesn’t satire have to be good to work?
Or, else, what is the motherf*cking point.
2. There might have been other players and writers involved?
Aight. So then, they’re ALL at fault. There you go.
But you know, I think the person who holds themselves up as a proponent of feminism is *naturally* going to garner my criticism and the criticism of others.
Correct me if I’m wrong though.
3. Why are Black women and Black girls in particular always the target of said “satire”?
I have already dismissed you as a White Feminist™ and assume that you give no sh*ts about the various intersections (because if you did, you’d know that Black women and Black girls experience sexual assault and sexual abuse at extremely high rates and as a result, this is not something you should f*cking joke about) that happen when it comes to feminism. Still, I feel that it is necessary to talk about this.
I don’t know what the obsession is with using Black women and Black girls as punchlines, but I’m assuming it has something to do with the fact that people who do this are either too lazy to craft actual jokes and are expecting tired tropes, caricatures, and stereotypes to carry the joke for them.
OR, or…it may have something to do with misogynoir.
To explain, in the last two years, I have suddenly been more aware of these lazy ass jokes and have noted them when they happen, much to my chagrin.
– There was that one time that TMZToday tried to be funny by asserting that Caitlyn Jenner thought herself to be more feminine-looking than Serena Williams. As if Serena doesn’t deal with enough racist, sexist, and misogynoiristic vitriol about her body day in and day out, despite the fact that she is the greatest athlete of our time (do NOT dispute me on this).
Yes, yes. Let us add sexism and transmisogyny to the mix.
– There was that one time that The Onion f*cked around and called Quvenzhané Wallis a c*nt, all for the sake of some unfunny ass satire. Like, I literally do not even remember the point that they were trying to make. All I saw was a little BLACK girl’s name in the same sentence of a sexist slur and figured that The Onion had finally run out of good material.
Well, there’s that and the fact that they wouldn’t dare say that about, I don’t know, Joey King?
4. Also related, why didn’t Amy and her unfunny ass show, Difficult People, target a White child?
You knew this question was coming, Amy, and I seriously want an answer. Why wasn’t a White toddler/child the subject of this terrible, tacky ass joke? It’s not like you don’t have a wealth of them to choose from.
I mean, there’s Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Shiloh, Briar Rose……..
I mean, I could go on, but I’m going to stop right there and I’m going to attempt to grasp why you didn’t in fact go there.
My theory is that you don’t have the cojones to go there. I assume that you even attempting to go there would have been met with (for the first time ever) rightful White Feminist™ rage and you would probably be severely dragged by your co-workers because of it.
I even imagine Ms. Paltrow taking to her GOOP website to shade you in defense of her precious Apple.
I would also expect you to issue some faux sincere apology talmbout how your humor was misguided, not appropriate, and how you are sorry.
So, here’s what I actually think outside said theory. I think because you didn’t have the cojones to go there, and because you are apparently not able to be funny without being tactless, you apparently see no problem with punching down—something that unfunny people love doing.
So, of course, you didn’t see a problem with making a Black girl the butt of another joke.
OF course you didn’t see a problem with involving three-year-old Blue Ivy in said rapey ass joke.
And you know, my disappointment aside, I’m really just left with curiosity.
What would you have done, Ms. Poehler, if someone had joked about your kids Abel and Archie being sexed up by the former Subway man, Jared?
Whatever you would have done, I’m assuming it would not have been kosher.
I’m half-expecting some faux ass apology from you, but after all this, I’m not really holding my breath.
I will just end this by saying—in my best Chance the Rapper voice—that I hope the Beyhive comes for you.
I hope Blue Ivy grows up and shows the whole of the world her middle finger for having nothing better to do than continually and relentlessly picking on her and bullying her as a child.
I hope Beyonce actually addresses this and reminds you that she probably has meetings to count her money and as a result, you are wholly and entirely irrelevant to her and her precious child Blue.
And, above all, I hope Difficult People gets cancelled.
I’ve seen it.
It’s not funny.
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