What’s shaking, lovers of the Zoo?
It has been the hottest of minutes since you heard from us. We apologize for this, as we are preparing to get our lives and get ourselves together in the new year.
That said, while 2015 was an incredibly ROUGH year for us—and many others—it did have its extreme high (and low) points and some of those points were in fact immortalized on this here website.
So, without further ado, we present to you our top 10 posts of 2015:
Marvel’s Daredevil was so good that it bordered on “out-of-pocket” status like 99% of the time. However, our reactions proved to be even more out-of-pocket based on the fact that no comic book run ever could have prepared us for the visceral nature that was Daredevil.
Still, the series had its humorous points that we didn’t forget to point out…including Fisk’s heavy breathing.
Long live Daredevil.
As it has been well-documented, BuzzFeed can be hit-or-miss (mostly miss). They will take AAVE words and use them until they become “anti-Fleek” and then write about how everyone else should stop using them.
But one of their biggest offenses this year was putting out an [Old] “Hot Guy” list that was blander than two pieces of WonderBread pasted together by Elmer’s Glue and making us all question what they exactly meant by “hot”.
Our response was a thirst post that arrived just in time and we look forward to revisiting it in the new year.
No news story was as indicative of the current state of the political landscape of the United States than the announcement that Deez Nuts was polling in North Carolina, right behind Clinton and Trump.
It was weird as f*ck and the post turned out to be even weirder.
…But yeah, you should totally #VoteDeezNuts2K16.
Writer Allie braved the charted yet uncharted territory of fan-fiction, both amazing and unsavory to bring us this wonderfully hilarious post.
From the mentioning of Dragon Ball Z high school AUs to the incredibly strange fan-fic that was “Mickey Mouse Meets That One Anime” character, this post made us laugh til’ we died.
Since 2012, many a Marvel fans humorously stated that Black Widow was stuck in the initial line-up and Power Ranger Circle pose as to not let the film divulge into a sausage fest.
However, writer Torbeast came through and gave credence to their statement with her invaluable observations on how Black Widow’s gender did or ultimately didn’t play a role in how the Russian navigated the expansive MCU.
That her gender was her weapon.
Torbeast would later go on to humorous drag Marvel’s penchant for falling into the Smurfette Trope (re: Guardians of The Galaxy, The Avengers) and that it didn’t even apply in the case of Black Widow, considering that depending on how one looked at it, Marvel was treating her like a dude with boobs.
Interestingly enough, that presented us with some interesting commentary on what constitutes femininity, gender, and the idea of gender fluidity.
And we loved every minute of it.
2015 was a painful, yet triumphant year for Black folks. Yet, you had certain self-hating Black folks whose careers were not at all where they used to be (cough—Foggy Leghorn, I mean Raven-Symoné—cough) telling Black folks what they should and should not be doing to win the war against oppression.
As a result of this, Writer Christina Tenisha came up to the bat to drag Foggy Symoné (and her other compatriots) by her Birdramon hair while explaining why their new age, “colorless”, “new Black” rhetoric was some “new bullsh*t”.
Classic, classic post.
The fight for an Asian-American Iron Fist and an increase in MCU diversity rages on and on. But THAT’s not the only reason why this made it to our 2015 faves list.
This particular post made it not only for the humorous way in which we laid out the case for why an Asian-American Iron Fist was the LEAST the MCU could do, but it also pissed off more White fanboys than we could count.
We knew it was real when the post initially debuted on Moviepilot to cries of “reverse racism”.
Stay mad, Doug™.
As mentioned earlier, it was a good year for Black people in entertainment—particularly Black women. However, Nellie of Deadline didn’t think so at all.
In fact, Nellie thought there were too many colored people (EGAD!) on television and that it had to be a bad thing. Y’all, she was so in distress about this that she used the word “ethnic” in her article about 25 million times.
She thought we wouldn’t know she was talking about Black folks and even threw Jane the Virgin and Fresh Off The Boat into the discussion to throw us off her bigoted scent, but we knew better.
Stay mad, Nellie.
This is nearly our favorite post of the year, no lie. I mean, we KNEW Fantastic Four was probably gonna look like a trainwreck orchestrated by Stevie Wonder.
But in reality, it looked worse.
What did it look like exactly?
Well, it looked like a crash test dummy being bukkaked by a squad of glowsticks.
Writer AJ Parker took the sacrificial L for this one in that she not only watched the new reboot in order to report her findings, but she also made herself re-watch the Fantastic Four (2005).
This resulted in her dragging The Thing for having no pants, dragging Miles Teller’s Reed Richards for going into the wild to grow a sorrow beard despite the fact that he didn’t get the rawest end in this deal, dragged Miles Teller for being a fuckboi, dragged the universe over Dr. Doom, dragged Sue Storm for being of no importance, dragged for Josh Trank for being himself, dragged him for being in love with Michael Bae Jordan but not giving the man enough material to make Johnny Storm more interesting and dragged herself for watching the movie.
It was a beatdown to remember.
This was one of the premier pop culture moments in 2015. It was funny, it was fierce, and it was [intersectionally] feminist as f*ck.
And we made damn sure our post reflected that.
Since then, Miley has crawled back into her spider hole of nonexistent lips, haphazard gyrating, Hank Hill booty cheeks, and cat poop dreads of nothingness. And to be honest? We would love if it stayed that way.
What’s good, Miley? What’s good, indeed.
Once again, writer Torbeast swooped in not only to drop some knowledge on how lackluster and bland a movie Mockingjay Part 1 was (I’m talking Robin’s boiled and lightly salted potatoes from Teen Titans GO bland), but also dragged trilogies at-large and their tendency to make an incredibly lit middle sequel and a completely shit concluding sequel.
It was one of our favorite sophisticated drags to date.
We will always remember this trailer for being phenomenal…and better than the actual movie. It was the ultimate Decepticon trailer since Iron Man 3, but it is survived by our humorous post and our even more questionable theories on what the hell was going in this side of the Marvel Universe.
We regret nothing.
What say you, Lovers of the Zoo? What were your favorite posts of 2015? Let us know in the comments below!
Images From: The Daily Beast, USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Marvel.wiki.com, Tumblr, Giphy, Wiffle Gif, Blogspot, Reaction GIF