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Racist Lately
Have No Fear! The Racist Apology Guide Is Here
Posted on May 14, 2016 by SUBLIME KAI16 Comments
Greetings, fairest denizens of the Zoo.
While it’s been awhile since I last talked to each and every one of you, I am here to say that it has been a WILD couple of days for us over at the Zoo–and frankly for comic book fans at-large as well.
On top coming off of a Captain America: Civil War high (as reviewed here by fellow zookeeper Lex Luther), we’ve also been receiving a constant stream of casting news for the upcoming Black Panther film that has been threatening to make everyone burst into flames (or tears) out of pure joy.
Exhibit A
In fact, the hype for the upcoming Black Panther film is so real that #BlackPantherSoLIT ( a hashtag celebrating the upcoming release of Black Panther and created by the brilliant and comedic Twitter user known as #ChadwickAndChill ❤ ) was trending all of yesterday (and this morning) TWO YEARS EARLY.
Us zookeepers scrolling through this tag.
Still, because the universe has a penchant for bringing balance to such happenings, a series of video clips from Chelsea Handler’s current show on Netflix (I don’t even know what it’s called and I don’t care really) surfaced. And…they were pretty bad.
To explain, the latest clips show a handful of the Civil War cast having dinner with the Chelsea as they wack (yes, that use of wack over wax was purposeful) poetic about things I clearly do not care about. However, things get pretty bad when The Purge 2 star (looooool that is a joke in itself) Frank Grillo decides to belittle the struggle of Black people and women in Hollywood.
Oh, excuse me.
I meant “Black” people.
Damn Franky boy! Back at it again with the low key high key racism!
Grillo was eventually chastised by Twitter and Tumblr users who either identified with the groups he maligned or just straight up thought that what he said was fucked up (because it was. And racist). After lashing out and blocking anyone who didn’t agree with his racist act, he returned an hour later with a sub-par apology. Of course, many [other racists] came to his defense, shaking their fists at “those damn SJWs”. Others weren’t as keen on letting Grillo’s racist transgressions go.
Twitter user Clarkisha Kent is one of those users.
After expressing disinterest in his non-apology, Kent went on to tweet “The Racist Apology Guide”, which is a “guide” that humorously outlines the predictable patterns and words that racists rehash when they kind of have to apologize, but really don’t want to.
Peep the petty below:
"The Racist Apology Guide" by Clarkisha Kent pic.twitter.com/b2rRlQTz8Q
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 1: Be racist.#TheRacistApologyGuide
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 2: Say something racist.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/FKxo6CdfcU
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 3: Get checked on the racist thing you said.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/uK2XY9h4B9
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 4: Vehemently deny that you said something racist.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/4NsLQzyfRd
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 5: Get called on your denial.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/l6aSmfMHsk
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 6: Proceed to double down & block people if this racist thing happened on social media#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/veW4ALsHwA
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 7: Get dragged.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/UmAG3IWxAJ
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 8: Come back hours after your dragging and issue an "apology".#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/vkAleEHtzP
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 9:Be sure to point out that it "was not your intention" to say the racist thing u said#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/xfydTfIJ89
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 10: Be sure to add that "you did not mean to offend" and that you are a good person.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/ouEKVQP9OQ
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 11: Be sure to deflect blame by not at all addressing that what you said was racist.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/GvMsENg8b1
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 12: Cite your sources! Make sure you include that you have many POC friends.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/0G4brSvHOa
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 12a: Who you are very "good" too. #TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/ks84iHTIVj
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 13: Bonus points if you have a picture of them.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/LuASe86czB
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 14: Bonus points if you make that picture your profile pic.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/Unha7eGkPW
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 15:Bonus points if u mention how ur marginalized identity prevents u from being racist#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/LIyUoTd2JF
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Step 16: Bonus points if you don't even have a marginalized identify.#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/svQgL9ioOg
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
And there you have it! Happy Apologizing!!!#TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/mxRaS6Cp98
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Or like the "non-racist" Frank Grillo might say, Happy "Apologizing".
Stay racist, y'all. #TheRacistApologyGuide pic.twitter.com/Gv1L1YIYeA
— Clarkisha Kent (@IWriteAllDay_) May 14, 2016
Jesus. Someone go check Grillo for burn marks (heeeyooooo)
That fantastic read aside, I am just so tickled. Grillo went from a nobody to a racist. Congratulations, Franky boy! You played yourself.
That said, one of the few good things to come out of this whole ordeal is the fact that Chris Evans apparently learned from the last “slutty” Marvel press tour (what is it with these woefully problematic press tours?) and the fact that Sebastian Stan is not as problematic as us zookeepers thought.
We’ll keep them. As for Franky boy? Well, he can go film The Purge 10 or something.