Hell hath no fury like a White woman who is insecure.
This is fairly a blunt ass way to start this piece off, since I haven’t seen y’all in like two months.
To be fair, The Orange™ has been fucking so much shit up that it’s been giving me whiplash and simultaneous fatigue as a writer.
One thing I can never pass up is the opportunity to assert Beyoncé’s right to be a Bad Ass Bitch™…and the opportunity to slap White feminists down with a sparkly ass fly swatter.
After such a long hiatus, however, little did I know that I would get the opportunity to do both…as soon as Beyoncé benignly and proudly told the world she was pregnant.
As one of my fave Tweeters put it, I have never seen so many articles talking cash about someone becoming pregnant in my life. With all the hate that King Bey is getting for it, you would think that she messed around and invented pregnancy and White women are simply mad that they didn’t do it first.
Of course, this is an oversimplification of this phenomenon. And to explain that, all you need to do is look at the shit White women have pulled since Auntie Yoncé announced she was pregnant:
2. Some heaux argued that Beyoncé mere act of getting pregnant and showing off that she was pregnant was somehow shaming people who could not get pregnant (which makes no sense because Beyoncé has been candid about her fertility struggles but I digress).
4. And finally, some irrelevant ass heaux, who has already been curb-stomped for her racism in academia, argued that Beyoncé getting pregnant doesn’t make her a goddess because pregnancy ain’t special and everybody is doing it and can do it.
…Look man. All the Dead Seas in the world could not contain this salt!
Obviously, all of these assertions are headass. And since I have time today, I will go in order as I explain why they are, in fact, headass:
1. Ripping off Beyoncé only makes you look like the poor man’s Beynocchio™. Not only do you look cheap and unoriginal, but now you are on The BeyHive’s shit-list for the rest of your life. Congratulations. You played the WHOLE of yourself.
2. Beyoncé herself has struggled with fertility issues. And has been candid about them. As I said before. This argument is asinine and makes no sense because I never see this kind of bullshit spewed when White celebrities announce the birth of their children and then turn around after being in labor with them for 3408423094830298403298 hours only to name them motherfucking Pilot Inspektor and Apple.
3. Beyoncé has never said that only women can and should get pregnant. That is not something that has ever come out of her Black ass mouth. She is celebrating her pregnancy and her version of motherhood.
You arguing otherwise is you projecting and reaching all the way to that African Coast that I have yet to find.
4. Here’s the thing about this one. Childbirth, no matter who is doing it, is a fucking miracle. Popping a whole human out of another human ain’t shit to play with. Folx DIE trying to see this through and as many people more eloquent than I have stated, Black femmes are disproportionately affected by this. Infant mortality rates are high. Rates of Black moms dying during childbirth are high. Hell, premature birth rates in Black infants are high as well.
Still, even with those defenses of Beyoncé, my work here is not yet done.
“Whatever do you mean, Lex?”
I’m glad you asked. You see, the thing is, it is fairly easy for me to come up with reasons (and rebuttals) for why the White women who are coming for Beyoncé are in turn only showing the entire globe their simultaneously chapped, ashy, and pasty asses.
The more challenging thing, on the other hand, would be for me to get to the root of WHY this is a thing. It’s a bit more challenging to explain why Susan is so bothered by Beyoncé and why Becky can’t stand to be around her.
And by challenging…I mean challenging for the folx who pretend not to know how White women operate.
As for us Black femmes who have already peeped their game? It’s very, very simple:
There is nothing more angry, more jealous, more vengeful, or more petty than an insecure White woman.
Scandalized? You shouldn’t be if you’ve ever met and befriended an insecure White woman.
I have known insecure Beckys since kindergarten. I was friends with insecure Katies in middle school. I peeped insecure Emmas and their games in high school. And I damn sure knew plenty of insecure Felicias and Susans in college. And in each one of these stages in life, every time I was particularly feeling myself, one of these White women always attempted to undermine that.
And the older I got, the less I was willing to tolerate it.
To elaborate, for reasons that only White Supremacy and Male Patriarchy can explain (it must be strange to be on the cusp of attaining the highest place on the privilege totem only to be cast down and simultaneously coddled for your gender), White women have a very large chip on their collective shoulder called insecurity.
And their only means of escaping these insecurities is bringing everyone around them to or BELOW their level.
And if you are a Black femme like Beyoncé? Or even a normal Black femme with a healthy sense of self? Oh boy, oh boy! You will be her prime target. She will become obsessed with you…and obsessed with the idea of taking you down a million notches.
I’m talmbout Ali Larter in Obsessed obsessed. I’m talmbout Thunderbolt Ross chasing Bruce Banner to kingdom come obsessed. I’m talmbout Eminem being obsessed with Mariah Carey Obsessed.
I call it the Inferiority Superiority Complex. White women hold an interesting place in society because as White women, they are held up as the highest attainable prizes in society. Praise is heaped on them…even if they are seemingly mediocre. Everyone is told to strive to be them or look like them…even though the majority of us would much rather drown ourselves in Lake Minnetonka (RIP Prince) first.
However, because they peep that most of us don’t buy the hype about them, or worse, don’t care to be them, the doubt creeps in. The questions multiply. Why wouldn’t we want to be them? Everyone should want to be them! Something must be wrong for us to be thinking this way!
White women, as White women, could not possibly fathom that anyone else wouldn’t want to be White women. After all, they are God’s gift to this green-but-quickly-turning-dusty-and-dry Earth.
Even if they are down on themselves, the assumption is that on their worst day, they are still better than any Black femme and femme of color just for the mere fact that they are special and coveted White women.
Because…Whiteness. And, you know, a heaping hot cup of anti-Blackness. Because that is what the esteemed value of White women is rooted in. Anti-Blackness and Misogynoir.
So imagine what it does to them when Black femmes, specifically Beyoncé, love themselves unapologetically.
Imagine what it does to them when Black femmes realize the full extent of their potential. Imagine what it does to them to see Black femmes gearing up to, potentially, pass them and leave them in their Black Girl Magical Dust™.
I imagine it must be infuriating.
I mean, I’d be STEWING if I were Susan.
It’s why every #BlackGirlsRock has spawned a #WhiteGirlsRock reply. It’s why every #BlackGirlMagic has warranted a #WhiteGirlMagic response. It’s why every #BlackWomenDidThat celebration has inspired a #WhiteWomenDidThat counterstrike.
Because the truth is…the self-esteem of White women is predicated on and depends on ensuring that Black women LACK any esteem. Black [Femme] pride is a direct threat to White self-esteem in that regard (This is especially the case in the age of La Naranja™. 53% of White Women told us as much). Black femmes must remain beneath them. They must never realize their power or if they do, they will not only uncover the base mediocrity of White women but also undermine their position in the White supremacist hierarchy.
And as this is such…I totally get why the average, soccer-mom-looking, box wine-drinking, wanna-escape-suburbia headass-looking Susan would be mad as fuck when it comes to Beyoncé.
Because as a Black femme, Beyoncé’s (and Serena, as I am not gonna forget that y’all came for her too this weekend) sheer and undeniable greatness and—worse—her staunch refusal to shrink herself exposes the inadequacies and insecurities of White women like naked copper wires.
And no one can really handle a mirror being held up to them like that. Especially “coveted”, yet fragile White women.
But of course, this ain’t something they will ever admit. While they hate her and want to be her, they’d much rather swear off Starbucks 5ever than confess to such a thing.
So instead, they will stay mad. We will continue to see poorly written hot takes about why Beyoncé is so cocky. We will continue to see tasteless think-pieces about why she is apparently setting back feminism. And we will continue to see fluff pieces on why she apparently pales in comparison to whatever mediocre White woman celebrity is existing at this very hour.
And in typical fashion, Beyoncé will continue to prosper. She will continue to make her coins. And she will continue to slay their lives (and hell, mine).
Because it really doesn’t matter, Susan, whether you don’t like or love Beyoncé. Or by extension, the rest of us Black femmes.
And this is because Beyoncé loves Beyoncé. And Black femmes love ourselves as well.
And that alone makes us unstoppable.
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